The Babysitters Club
by Signature.Hot.Chocolate
Summary: Jacob is left to babysit Renesmee for the weekend. JakeNessie. One-shot.


The Babysitters Club

* * *

"Now I made sure there was enough food in the fridge, but if you get bored with that the number to order pizza is by the phone," Bella continued, already being tugged out the door by Edward.

"I know, I know, everything will be fine," I said, giving her a tight smile and a wave.

"My number is on the fridge, and if I don't answer and something, anything, has happened just yell and someone will hear you!" Bella called as Edward finally threw her over his shoulder and took off into the forest.

Shaking my head, I re-entered the cottage and headed straight for the fridge.

"I swear, she takes motherhood to a whole new level," a lilting voice said with deep affection from the other side of the room.

"She just worries about you," I answered, turning from my close inspection of the fridges interior to look at my favourite person in the world. Despite the fact that she now sported the body of a seventeen year old, with a physique so similar to Bella's it was hard to tell them apart, she still had the mind, and the fashion sense of a child under ten.

"I think she was more worried you would start chewing on the couch cushions if we ran out of food," Renesmee laughed, padding over the kitchen counter and leaning against it, watching me, already dressed in her Hello Kitty nightgown and giant fuzzy slippers.

"There is that too. I don't think Edward ever thought he would get her away from you," I teased, finally locating some leftover hotcakes from breakfast, wolfing down two of them in one swallow.

"It's been seven years since she and Dad have gone anywhere, I think if he didn't drag her out, Uncle Emmett would have,"

"I just can't believe they let me babysit you," I said, shocked Edward had agreed to leave me alone with Nessie for a whole weekend.

"You aren't babysitting me," she grouched, folding her arms over her chest and pouting comically, the fact that her curly auburn hair was in lopsided pig tails made the look even more hysterical, but I dared not laugh at her.

"Sure I am, I have a long list of stuff that practically screams babysitter," I sung, tugging the crumpled paper Bella had forced me to go over with her a dozen times from the pocket of my sweat pants.

Nessie made to swipe the list from my hand but I held it high above her head, "Ah ah ahh, this is very confidential information, sure to self destruct at midnight if certain individuals get a hold of it,"

"Just give it to me you big bully!" she said, crouching down, preparing to pounce on me.

"Not unless you say the magic words," I grinned, waving the paper above me like a flag.

"Extra cheese with no anchovies," A deep voice rumbled from the doorway, causing both Nessie and I to turn our attention that way. Embry grinned and winked at us, Quill barely spared us a glance as he headed straight for the fridge and Seth headed straight toward us. I glared at the younger wolf as he cockily reached up and pulled the paper right from my very grasp.

"In bed by nine?" he cried incredulously, "She has got to be kidding!"

"Aww Jake, you wouldn't do that to me would you?" Renesmee asked, her playful expression turning into a pout again.

"Rules are rules, sweet cheeks," I told her, ruffling her already messed up hair before snatching my list back from Seth before he saw it coming.

"You're no fun anymore," she whined, stalking over to the couch and slumping down within the plush cushions.

"When was he ever?" Quill laughed, already picking up the phone and dialling the pizza number he knew by heart.

"That's beside the point," I said, with a wave of my hand, "What are you guys doing here?"

"We came to help you babysit!" Seth announced, sitting next to Renesmee, offering her a melted candy bar from his pocket that she turned her nose up at. Seth shrugged and scoffed it down in seconds.

"I don't need your help, Ness and I will be just fine without you guys, so you can leave," I told them, folding my arms by my chest and looking pointedly toward the door.

"Can't, your Dad doesn't want you on Cullen land for so long on your own, plus the pizza is already on its way," Embry announced with finality, plonking himself down on the opposite couch to the others, looking like he was settling in for the weekend.

I felt my anger rise instantly, "After all these years he still doesn't think I can look after myself!" I raged through gritted teeth.

"No, after all these years he still doesn't trust the Cullen's, or any Vampires for that matter. And who are we to deny the old Chief,"

"You mean, who are you to deny an old man with delusions of grandeur?" I snarled, stalking over to the couch and throwing Seth to the floor, taking his place next to Renesmee, who stared at me with a frown.

"Just humour him Jake," Quill sighed.

"Plus, we bought movies, so we aren't completely useless you know," Embry added, producing a plastic bag full of DVD cases.

"Ooh, did you bring The Princess Bride?" Nessie piped up, bouncing beside me in excitement. I looked away guilty, little did she know that I had become so sick of watching that movie that I had slid the disk beneath one of the tires of Emmett's Jeep several weeks ago. Everyone thought it had just gone missing and so far my secret had remained just that, a secret.

"Sorry Ness," Embry said, not sounding sorry at all.

Her face fell instantly and I almost found myself thinking about what time the nearest store opened so I could buy her a new copy, before I remembered how often I still found myself quoting lines in the most inappropriate situations.

"We're having a Police Academy marathon!" Seth announced with excitement. Oddly enough, I felt anything but.

* * *

Four hours, thirty two minutes and twenty three seconds later, a brief knock on the door interrupted my light doze. Renesmee stirred in my lap, where she had been curled against me like a kitten and a quick glance around showed that Seth was the only one still up and staring wide eyed at the slap stick comedy.

The next moment everyone was awake when Alice and Emmett Cullen burst into the cottage, not bothering to knock or even wait while someone to let them in, like they ever would anyway.

"Good lord, what happened here?" Alice breathed, looking around at the discarded pizza boxes and popcorn kernels strewn from one side of the living room to the other, a bottle of half drunk soda had spilt on the kitchen floor and I was pretty sure there was cheese stuck to the ceiling. All at once fingers began pointing in every which direction.

"We had pizza," Nessie announced.

"I can see that," Alice said with an upturned nose. I was sure if the Vampire was able to colour at all she would be turning bright red right now.

"We came to check you hadn't burnt the place down," Emmett said, taking Nessie's spot on the couch next to me, "Looks like we should do it for you, just to hide the evidence," he said, his eyes roving automatically to the television as his expression brightened.

"Come on Nessie, lets get you cleaned up," Alice announced, pulling the squirming ball of energy from me and practically dragging her into the bedroom. I started to get up and follow when Alice rounded the on me, the door swinging in her hand, "Girls only wolf boy!" she chirped and slammed the door in my face.

"Sucks to be you," Cullen's voice from behind me laughed before he went back to laughing boisterously at the movie.

I sat back down, as far as I could from the burly Vampire who managed to take up as much room as I did on the three seater couch. He and Seth started discussing the film at length, and how anyone could analyse such drivel was beyond me. I tried to focus on the closed door behind me to pass the time instead.

At first there was nothing, no noise or bump or squeak. Then I heard Nessie squeal in delight at something and the hum of Alice's low voice floated over the top. After ten solid minutes I had had enough. I was just getting up to see what they were up to when her bedroom door burst open.

"Jacob! Look!" Nessie cried, spinning in front of me, her twin French Braids flicking out around her head. The hairstyle accentuated her cheekbones and gave her eyes an exotic tilt, she looked grown up and beautiful.

"You should wear it like that more often, it suits you," I complimented and smiled when she blushed.

"I can do it in your hair if you want! Aunt Alice promised to show me how," she said eagerly, looking toward her bedroom where the golden eyed pixie woman stood watching us with amusement.

"If you want," the evil woman laughed, "Nessie can do yours, while you do Seth's and I do Quill's," my pack mates heads snapped at up at this and they gave me a wide eyed stare of horror.

In the last few years we had extended our boundaries to include much of the Cullen land, including the snow capped mountains. Those of us still on frequent patrol had kept our hair long, Seth and Quill happened to be just two of many with the unusual hairstyle.

"Anything you want Nessie," I said with an evil smile, getting revenge for my 'friends' showing up unannounced.

They had no choice but to comply as I shifted to sit up straight, Renesmee coming behind the couch to run her fingers through my hair as Seth settled himself reluctantly between my thighs on the floor. Quill eyed Alice off with apprehension as she ordered him to sit where Emmett was, the large Cullen happily moving to sit by Embry on the other couch.

"Right, now the first thing you need to do is part …" Alice began, and we all followed her instructions.

Seth whined that I pulled too hard; Quill looked like he was going to throw up and continually shivered every time Alice's fingers touched his neck. I was content to sit back and concentrate on the hair in front of me as Renesmee picked up the rhythm with unsurprising ease.

"… and that's how you do a French braid," she concluded happily just as the front door burst open for the third time that night.

"I just forgot …" Bella's voice trailed off as she took in the sight before her. She bought her hand to her mouth as uncontrollable giggles shook her whole frame. Everyone glared at her as she backed out of the cottage, "Never mind, see you all tomorrow!" she yelled, running back the way she had come.

"Alice Cullen, you are an evil woman," I growled, tugging Seth's hair apart to try and do it straighter. Surely she had seen Bella's change of direction; she would never have missed something like that. This was all a ploy to humiliate half the pack and gain a few laughs at the same time.

"I know, it's a gift," she shrugged, going back to show us how to do it again. With a resigned sigh I picked up a strand of hair and started all over.

* * *

_Thanks for Reading!_


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